I just mailed this letter to Chili's, and I urge all of our many many followers to send a similar letter. Even if you never had the pleasure of putting a cinnamon sweet shot in your mouth, trust the food experts and know, these are worth the 49cent stamp (wait, how much IS a stamp??)
Dear The Awesome but Somewhat Misguided People Who Make Chili’s A Reality,
This letter has been a long time coming. First, I should say that I LOVE Chili’s. You have provided my friends and me with endless laughs, surprises, and deliciously snarky waiters. However, a little under a year ago, you made a fatal flaw in your menu upheaval. I have been meaning to write you about it for a long time, but could not, due to the extreme depression I was plunged into after the discovery.
You must know what I’m talking about by now… YOUR WARM CINNAMON ROLL SWEET SHOTS!! Where, oh where, have they gone? I suppose you were trying to ease me into their absence. First, you accidentally serve me a cold cinnamon roll sweet shot—a harsh blow, but still better than nothing. Then, I move to New York City where the only Chili’s is out in the Staten Island boonies, making Chili’s pleasure nearly inaccessible. Then, finally, you remove the cinnamon shots from the menu entirely, a bitter fact it took me months to discover.
I noticed them sorely lacking from the menu in October of last year, when I was dining at a Chili’s at some giant mall outside the city. My waitress could not tell me definitively whether they were gone for good or just out of “season.” Months passed, and I finally returned to the Providence Chili’s in March. I excitedly ordered a cinnamon sweet shot, and one of your lovely waiters, Ed* (*I have no idea what his name was), informed me that sweet shots were no longer a Chili’s menu item.
Needless to say, that moment was by far the worst I’ve ever experienced. I took a deep breath, but the tears began. I put my head down on the table. Ed began to explain to the tear-stained, crumbled blob I had become that “some menu items are popular with individuals but not with the masses, and this one was one of them.”
Now, I forgo all attempts at articulateness and just BEG: please please put the cinnamon shots back on the menu!!! I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THE OTHER SWEET SHOTS. The rest of them were mediocre, and I’m hesitant to even associate them with the pure, ooey-gooey, sweet, warm deliciousness of the cinnamon roll shot. And it’s not just me: I bought these shots for many a non-believer friend. They asked, “how good could they be?” I said, “they’ll be the best thing you’ve ever put in your mouth.” And you know what? After one bite, EVERY one of them agreed (probs)!
I suggest a targeted marketing campaign focused solely on getting the word out about these cinnamon sweet shots. The new Chili’s slogan could be: “Pepper in some CINNAMON ROLL SWEET SHOTS!” Or “Chili’s. Like no place else because no other place has CINNAMON ROLL SWEET SHOTS!” Or even “Chili’s Baby Back CINNAMON ROLL SWEET SHOTS.” I work in marketing, so I sort of know what I’m talking about.
Much love coupled with severe disappointment, and beneath that… hope,
Caitlin Barry
P.S. I would also accept as a consolation the recipe so I can make them myself, or a lifetime supply of them just for me. Thank you.
